I'm Done.

i'm done.
i'm done saying i need to cut you out of my life.
i'm done saying that I can't be around you.
i'm done saying maybe we aren't meant to be friends.

it's clear we both still would like a friendship.
where that friendship will go is the question and the challenge.
A challenge i have failed to accept.

I thought I could go cold turkey and just stop being involved with you.
but truthfully I miss you.
there's days i go hoping you would call, or send a message.

I feel like a piece of you wants to cut me out now though.
tonight the literal space between us made me feel awkward.
you leaned in, and i felt awkward
you smiled at me and i felt awkward
everything about you I just don't feel comfortable anymore.

I want so bad to go back in time and take everything back.
you don't even know. I want so BAD to go back!

i've been so down because of you and my friend drama and work drama and just life not being the way i'd like it to be.
life is never how you would like it to be.

how i feel right now i've discovered is an accumulation of all the drama that's going on, you just happen to be a small part and i apologize for this past month making it about you.

Truth.
I am done.
I'm done trying to be me when i lost me a few weeks ago
i'm done trying to believe i'll have a friendship with you again
I'm done pretending
I'm done.

Good Bye.